Eric hjälpte mig för några minuter sedan att bli en av bloggarna i bloggtoppen. Man kan se hur man ligger till å så bland läsarna och så kan man försöka nå toppen och hamna på första sidan. Den som ligger högst upp nu har 40.000 läsare i veckan. Och jag tror att jag iallfall har en trogen läsare per dag. Ibland iallafall. Men hon/han och jag ska tillsammans ta mig till toppen. Om min läsare va en amöba eller ett virus så skulle det bli jätte många läsare till slut. Om den vore ett virus så kanske jag kunde smitta besökarna på dom andra bloggarna så dom blir mina läsare. Så alla läser min blogg. Då kommer jag ha 40.000 läsare i veckan. Och det enda jag kommer skriva om är hur allting inte är som det ska i världen, det kommer ni gilla. Ni kommer inte ha något val då för hoppningsvis.
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- Jag heter Oscar Karlsson, jag bor i Stockholm, försöker lära mig läsa böcker och vara duktig på att skriva.
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Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
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The only people you should try to get even with are those who have helped you.
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The Golden Rule: whoever has the gold makes the rules.
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A day for firm decisions! Or is it?
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If it looks like shit, smells like shit, mail it to your enemy -- he'll know what to do with it.
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Give a man free hands and you'll know where to find them.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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A friend might well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.
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A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
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Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
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People who never acheive happiness are the ones who complain whenever they're awake, and whenever they're asleep,they are thinking about what to complain about tommorrow.
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Thank you.
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Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
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Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
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Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else -- unless it is an enemy.
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There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
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If you wish to reach the highest, begin at the lowest.
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Life is a tale told by an idiot -- full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
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Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.
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As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.
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It is easier to fight for principles than to live up to them.
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I'm really grateful to you.
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Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
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Never ask the barber if you need a haircut.
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When is a pixie not a pixie? When he's got his head up a fairy's skirt, then he's a goblin'.
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Millions long for immortality but do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
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If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
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It is very kind of you
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We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
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Every age is fed on illusions, lest men should renounce life early and the human race come to an end.
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Forget and forgive. This is not difficult when properly understood. It means forget inconvenient duties, then forgive yourself for forgetting. By rigid practice and stern determination, it comes easy.
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The scriptures teach us the best way of living, the noblest ways of suffering, and the most comfortable ways of dying.
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I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.
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I believe that every right implies a responsibility; every opportunity, an obligation; every possession, a duty.
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Ninety-Ninety Rule of Project Schedules: The first ninety percent of the task takes ninety percent of the time, and the last ten percent takes the other ninety percent.
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Love your enemies: they'll go crazy trying to figure out what you're up to.
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There is not any memory with less satisfaction than the memory of some temptation we resisted.
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I get it.
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Only the mediocre are always at their best.
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Being sorry is the highest act of selfishness, seeing value only after discarding it.
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Before you find your handsome prince, you have to kiss a lot of frogs.
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It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give up because by that time I was too famous.
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What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.
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Life is like walking through snow: every step shows.
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A beautiful woman is the hell of the soul, the purgatory of the purse, and the paradise of the eyes.
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It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
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Success is like a fart -- only your own smells nice.
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How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
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The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.
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All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.
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To hit bottom is to fall from grace.
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Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have walked in his moccasins for two weeks.
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The key to heaven's gate cannot be duplicated.
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I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
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Give more than take.
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We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?
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Modesty is the opium of the mediocre.
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The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
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I am not sincere, even when I say I am not.
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Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out.
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Well done!
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If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
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A new sequel to The Exorcist is being filmed. In this version a woman hires the Devil to get a Priest out of her son.
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If you were arrested for kindness, would there be enough evidence to convict you?
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The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
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I was terribly happy about it
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Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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Forgive me for being late.
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Good people are good because they've come to wisdom through failure.
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This is as true in everyday life as it is in battle: we are given one life and the decision is ours whether to wait for circumstances to make up our mind, or whether to act and, in acting, to live.
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After an instrument has been assembled, extra components will be found on the bench.
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Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.
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"I hear that you drop some money in Stocks. Were you a bull or a bear?" "Neither, just a plain simple ass."
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In this world, there is one terrible thing, and that is that everyone has his reasons.
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Bacchus: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.
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Excuse me a moment.
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My interest is in the future because I am going to spend the rest of my life there.
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Never give a sucker an even break and never smarten up a chump.
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You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.
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Don't take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive.
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Old age is the most unexpected of things that can happen to a man.
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Fine!
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Women first want to find out what is in your wallet, and second what is in your pants.
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Beat your own and others will fear you.
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A man is in love when something in his head, something in his and chest and something in his pants react to a certain woman.
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Cox's Philosophy: Life's a bitch, and then you die.
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Were there no women, men might live like gods.
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The more you know, the less you think you know.
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I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
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Every calling is great when greatly pursued.
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Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.
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Life is a rollercoaster. Try to eat a light lunch.
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Blessed are the meek for they shall inhibit the earth.
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When you have confidence, you can have a lot of fun. And when you have fun, you can do amazing things.
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You are very kind.
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I don't want any "yes-men" around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their jobs.
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When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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I never think of the future -- it will come soon enough.
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Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.
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Forgive me for being late.
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Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
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Hard reality has a way of cramping your style.
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That�s the greatest thing since sliced bread.
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A woman, especially if she has the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can.
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A women was found in her home in her bath tub surrounded by milk with a spoon up her pussy and a banana up her arse. Police suspect a cereal killer
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I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.
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The victor will never be asked if he told the truth.
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In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
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You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.
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I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
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Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
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Moral sensibilities are nowadays at such cross-purposes that to one man a morality is proved by its utility, while to another its utility refutes it.
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To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
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The short words are best and the old words are best of all.
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Boren's Laws: (1) When in charge, ponder. (2) When in trouble, delegate. (3) When in doubt, mumble.
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Burning desire is the eternal flame.
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That woman speaks eight languages and can't say "no" in any of them.
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The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children.
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Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.
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It's better to be an authentic loser than a false success, and to die alive than to live dead.
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Well done!
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There are a lot of ways to become a failure, but never taking a chance is the most successful.
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Pick battles big enough to matter, but small enough to win.
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If you were arrested for kindness, would there be enough evidence to convict you?
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Love thy neighbor as thyself, but choose your neighborhood.
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Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody is looking.
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If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
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Usually, if you're calling any shots at all, you're not eating worms.
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Large increases in cost with questionable increases in performance can be tolerated only in race horses and women.
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The amount of work to be done increases in proportion to the amount of work already completed.
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The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been.
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Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.
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There are two types of dirt: the dark kind, which is attracted to light objects, and the light kind, which is attracted to dark objects.
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That�s the greatest thing since sliced bread.
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The art of simplicity is a puzzle of complexity.
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An excuse is the mark of a moral coward.
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Even a blind pig in a blizzard finds an acorn once in a while.
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Hatred: A sentiment appropriate to the occasion of another's superiority.
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We are here to add what we can to life, not to get what we can from it.
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I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
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You're cool!
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